I want to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a long time.
I’ve just never had the time — or mental space — to write it down.
Diets, sales work, emails… life keeps piling up.

But today’s a holiday. I slept well. My mind is clear.
So here it is.

Free Advice — A Habit We Need to Rethink

We Indians are notorious for giving unsolicited advice.

I don’t know if it’s the same everywhere else, but it’s often said here.
Still — every time we say, “Indians do this, Indians do that” — we risk disrespecting our own people.
If the issue is common to all humanity, let’s just say “people”, not “Indians.”
Because if you won’t respect your country, no one else will either.

The Mistake I’m Talking About? Giving Advice When It’s Not Needed.

Especially when someone is sad or going through something.

When someone’s hurting, they don’t need solutions.
They just want to be heard.
That’s it.
If they need advice — they’ll ask.

If someone comes to you feeling low, don’t rush in with fixes.
Instead:

• Make them physically comfortable
• Offer a chair, a bed, a glass of water or tea
• Then simply ask, “Why are you feeling like this?”
• Let them speak — one detail at a time

They might cry. They might vent. But by the end, they’ll feel lighter.
And they’ll thank you — not for advice — but for listening.

Why We Keep Getting It Wrong

We talk too much.
We listen too little.

If we just shut up and listen, the world would be a kinder place.

Apply this to your relationships, too:

• If your partner is ranting, ask them to summarize what’s truly bothering them.
• Then listen, point by point.
• Don’t cut in with sarcasm or insults. Don’t say “F*** you too” — it solves nothing.

This goes for parents, siblings, friends, everyone.

If you’re wrong, admit it.
Promise to work on it.
And if you can’t change something, say, “I’ll try my best.”

Likewise, share your own feelings and respectfully ask if they can try too.

Speak Up, But Also Understand

Yes — even if you’ve been taught to stay silent in front of elders, speak up respectfully.

If you don’t agree with something an adult says, ask them why they believe it.
You don’t have to argue. Just try to understand their perspective.

Over time, I’ve realized:

Everyone is right in their own eyes — because of what they’ve experienced.

You Don’t Have to Win Every Argument

You know what I’ve learned?

• Every time you win an argument, you might lose a friend.
• But every time you choose to let it go, you save a relationship.

I choose to let go now.
I ignore a lot of things that once triggered me — as long as they don’t deeply affect me.
Because the value of people in my life outweighs my need to always be right.

A Confession I Needed to Make

For years, I was the kind of person I’m writing about today.
I’ve lost relationships because of it.

But I’ve also learned to say sorry.

I’ve even apologized to ex-girlfriends — not to get back together — but just to own up to my part.
And many of them apologized too.
Today, we don’t talk. We’re not close. But there’s no hate.

Yes, I Still Mess Up.

I still do this sometimes.
I still talk too much, maybe like I have ADHD (maybe I actually do).

But I’m trying.

Maybe this post will be a reminder for me too — to listen more and speak less.

This post may feel like a detour on a blog that’s supposed to be about fitness…
But sometimes the mind needs fitness too.

And sometimes the best therapy is just being heard — like I’m hoping you’re doing right now.

One Line to Sum It All Up:

I prefer to drink tea from a porcelain cup… not a disposable one.

(Read that again. Think about it.)

Thank you for reading.
If this made you feel something, let me know in the comments.
And if it made you think — maybe share it with someone who needs to hear it too.

— Nipun